I was sent this list over 8 years ago and found the email again the other day. See how many ring true to you –
I. The number of matches it takes to get the fire going is inversely proportional to the number that were in the box when you started.
2. If you are tired, your Scouts will not be at all tired, and will keep you awake all night.
3. Never turn your back for a moment.
4. Silly hats are practical – they keep your head warm and ensure that no one will ever take you seriously again.
5. The length of time for the water to boll is proportional to how desperate you are for a cup of tea or coffee or hot chocolate.
6. Happiness is a cup of hot coffee (or tea) outside your tent when you get up in the morning.
7. Scouts have endless supplies of energy until they have to walk somewhere.
8. Scouts are allergic to washing up liquid.
9. A Scout’s alarm clock is always set either two hours earlier or two hours later than the leader’s.
10. Be nice to the caterer, or they might put food in your dinner.
11. There is always an unclaimed piece of underwear at the end of camp, but you never find the woggle that was lost at the beginning.
12. Smoke gets in your eyes.
13. Smoke will follow every individual around any given fire – no matter where they move, in which direction, where the wind is coming from, or even if there Is any wind at all for that matter.
14. A shower to a Scout is when it is raining.
15. Scouts do it in hiking boots and waterproofs with rucksacks.
16. If you stand and stare at a tent long enough it will pitch itself.
17. Don’t just do something – stand there!
18. If it’s burnt on the outside it must be cooked.
19. A Scout can cook anything, unsupervised and unassisted, as long as it’s a sausage.
20. A Scout is to be trusted – to do something really stupid and dangerous, usually involving fire, blades, food, vegetation, another Scout or any combination of me above.
21 .A Scout always takes their underwear home, clean, dry and unpacked.
22. When everyone is asleep at night a big spoon comes and stirs the contents of your tent around, so you’ll never find anything again.
23. No matter how large the rucksack or how numerous they are, there is always the plastic carrier bag.
24. I like Scouts, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.
25. The purpose of wide games is to get as many Scouts as possible lost, in the woods, preferably at night.
26. Ask a Scout to build a one man bivouac and you’ll get a cow shed, ask them to build a three man bivouac and you’ll get something just big enough for a Beaver or a cuddly toy.
27. Camping is good for me soul -it must be – anything this much hard work has to be good for you.
28. Trying to remember how many loaves of bread (or pints of milk) you bought. and how many were either left over at the end or had to be bought half way through the last camp, is the second sign of madness.
29. The first step on the road to madness is being a leader.
30. You can always tell where a Scouts’ tent was from me sweet wrappers.
31. You can always tell where a Venture’s tent was from me burnt out beer cans.
32. To estimate the length of time it will take to complete an activity at camp; think of how long it should take, multiply that figure by the number of Scouts doing it, take off me number you first thought of, halve that figure and finally move the decimal point one place to the right. Hence we can allocate four hours and ten minutes for six Scouts to complete a ten minute activity.
33. If at first you don’t succeed – cheat. Just don’t let anyone see you doing it.
34. You know you have picked a bad site when me tent pegs are held in by suction.
35. Anyone who goes camping between November and March deserves what they get.
36. The average Scouts’ First Aid Kit contains: three sticking plasters (one opened), two antiseptic wipes, one sewing needle (unsterilized) and thirty seven safety pins.
37. Building the fire up for the night to leave embers in the morning does not require an imitation of the towering Inferno, but this is what usually happens anyway.
38. When whittling, whatever you produce is what you set out to make.
39. You always remember the laughter.
40. Always stick to what you said.
41. There is no 41.
42. Life, the Universe, and Everything.
I thought this list would make a nice change from the seriousness of my last post!